Safety

Buster snores. Not cute little puppy snores — proper, window-rattling, “is there a motorbike idling in the bedroom” snores. The first night we had him, we genuinely checked the windows to see if something was wrong with the house. Nope. Just Buster, doing his impression of a chainsaw being fed through a tuba. Jago, meanwhile, sounds like a tiny steam engine when he’s excited. Running toward food? Steam engine. Greeting visitors? Steam engine at full throttle. Sleeping peacefully? Somehow also steam engine, but on low. ...

Buster models the latest in haute couture heat prevention. He’s thrilled, as you can tell. Right. Let’s talk about keeping your French Bulldog alive during summer. That sounds dramatic, but if you’ve ever watched your Frenchie transform into a wheezing, panting furnace the moment the temperature hits 20°C, you’ll know it’s not hyperbole. These dogs have the thermal regulation capabilities of a velvet-covered radiator. ...

Jago contemplates the water with the confidence of someone who’s never actually thought anything through Can French Bulldogs Swim? The short answer: Technically yes. In the same way that I can technically play the violin. (I can’t. It sounds like cats being murdered. You get the idea.) The real answer: French Bulldogs are built like furry bricks with legs. They can paddle frantically for a bit, but “swimming” implies grace, efficiency, and some reasonable expectation of not immediately sinking. Frenchies have none of these qualities. ...